BUG/MINOR: ssl: fix build on development versions of openssl-1.1.x

while working on issue #429, I encountered build failures with various
non-released openssl versions, let us improve ssl defines, switch to
features, not versions, for EVP_CTRL_AEAD_SET_IVLEN and
EVP_CTRL_AEAD_SET_TAG.

No backport is needed as there is no valid reason to build a stable haproxy
version against a development version of openssl.
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